Because I’m immature and I have no shame

So I’ve had some gas build up for the past few days. I can tell my stomach is bloated, it’s uncomfortable, but there’s not much to be done about it. Right as I was leaving work, tiny, itty bitty, little wee farts started occurring. Nothing concerning, nothing too smelly.

But when I was on the metro, holding onto one of the center poles, I felt one escape. It hissed out silently for about 10 seconds straight. And it was hot. Serious temperature on that one. I kept a poker face on, taking comfort that I was surrounded by people, none of whom could be certain who was responsible.

But holy hell was it bad. It built up gradually too, not a sudden shock, this one. I caught a few people looking around, their expressions growing increasingly appalled. It was a fetid combination of rotten egg and burning rubber.

It took a lot of will power not to giggle. I mean, it was obscene. I kind of felt bad for the people around me, but I could tell this was only the beginning. They just had to deal with the one, I’m going to be simmering in them all night!

At least it’ll get rid of the bloat.

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