I hate automated customer service lines, though to be fair, I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t. For the longest time I thought that Cox cable’s was the absolute worst, as it relied on voice recognition that never fucking worked. However, they’ve gone back to the button-pushing system and now the honor of Most Rage-Inducing Phone system goes to Toyota Financial.
I went to their website to log in and make my car payment, but must have misremembered which username/password combo I’d set up, so my account got locked. Well, to unlock the account, you have to have your account number, which I don’t have. It’s on the bills, but I shred those. I probably have some paperwork at home, but I’d have to dig for it, and let’s face it, there’s no way I’m going to remember to do that 8 hours from now. The payment needs to be made today before 6pm in order to be on time. So I called the 800 number to find out if I could get technical help in resetting my password.
Calling the number and pressing 1 for account holder prompts a 2 minute fucking commercial for the new Camey. Then when I finally got into the system, it recited payoff amounts, last payment, next payment, and every other fucking detail about the account before going through any options. So I press the number for paying over the phone, and of course there’s a fee. Thinking maybe a rep would be able to do something, I hit 0 and was connected to a very unhelpful person. No, there’s no support staff that can reset a password. No, I can’t give you your account number, but I can mail it. No, I can’t waive the convenience fee. It’s $5 through the automated system, and $10 if I take your payment info. Okay, fine, put me back to the automated system.
Where I have to sit through the same bullshit commercial again. Only this time when I enter the last 4 of my social, it doesn’t recognize me and says it’s transferring me to a rep.
I hang up, and dial again.
Fucking commercial. Die Camry, die! I hate the Camry. If I saw a Camry right now, I’d kick it.
Get through to the system, listen to it recite the amounts, my medical history, and the weather for 5 major cities. It takes two minutes for the damn system to explain how the automated payment works before giving me the options to enter my information. I paused very slightly in pushing the buttons for my checking acct number, and it registered the first section as a first failed attempt, then the button I pushed next as my second failed attempt. “Please hold, you are being transferred…”
Hang the fuck up.
SHUT UP ABOUT THE GOD DAMN CAMRY ALREADY.
I vow to never, ever purchase a Camry. Or maybe any other Toyota vehicle. I consider refinancing my loan just so I don’t have to deal with this system ever again.
After I hear a repeat of my account information, the latest celebrity gossip, detailed instructions on how to push buttons to make money come out of my checking account, and a reading of my blood pressure,* I finally, finally, get my payment processed.
And this is why I had a brownie as a morning snack. Now, excuse me while I figure out a way to Irish up my coffee. Someone in this office must have a stash.
*Through the fucking roof.