I believe I’ve figured out this year’s Halloween costume

I’ll admit to being inappropriate even when unprovoked, but I really have no shame when someone else instigates.  I received this thoroughly charming message, and had to wonder,  does this approach actually work for guys?

You have an lovely smile, if I may say so! Any interest in threesomes? Joe

I thought about asking about his success rate with that kind of opening email, but then the devil on my shoulder* started whispering sweet nothings into my ear.  I’m pretty sure he “silenced” his better-natured counterpart quite some time ago.

Yes, but only if I can wear a dildo on my head and pretend that I’m a unicorn from the porniverse.

Joe’s reply was lame.  Come on Joe, I give you great material, and this is what you give me?

Sorry if I offended you. How is your week so far? Joe

Honestly some days I have no idea why I bother.  Joe, this was your cue to get creative, to be silly, to redeem yourself from the steaming pile of presumptuous crap you first sent, to shake off the eau-de-creeper and reveal yourself as a worthwhile human being.  I am sorely disappointed in you, Joe, but I will keep trying.  I will not give up on you, you hear?!

LAME. Pornicorn will peg you with her 10-inch purple, glittery horn.

I think I’m known on the metro as “girl who giggles insanely at her phone.”

I’m actually very attracted to strapon play, with the right partner, of course.

Oh, I’ve got a partner for you!

Disclaimer:  No ponies were harmed in the making of this blog post.  Furthermore, I have no problem with threesomes or strap-on play.  Just with controlling my tendency to be a smart ass to anyone trying to take me at face value.

That pony will take you at face value.
(I have no idea what that means.)

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