I’ll admit to being inappropriate even when unprovoked, but I really have no shame when someone else instigates. I received this thoroughly charming message, and had to wonder, does this approach actually work for guys?
You have an lovely smile, if I may say so! Any interest in threesomes? Joe
I thought about asking about his success rate with that kind of opening email, but then the devil on my shoulder* started whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I’m pretty sure he “silenced” his better-natured counterpart quite some time ago.
Yes, but only if I can wear a dildo on my head and pretend that I’m a unicorn from the porniverse.
Joe’s reply was lame. Come on Joe, I give you great material, and this is what you give me?
Sorry if I offended you. How is your week so far? Joe
Honestly some days I have no idea why I bother. Joe, this was your cue to get creative, to be silly, to redeem yourself from the steaming pile of presumptuous crap you first sent, to shake off the eau-de-creeper and reveal yourself as a worthwhile human being. I am sorely disappointed in you, Joe, but I will keep trying. I will not give up on you, you hear?!
LAME. Pornicorn will peg you with her 10-inch purple, glittery horn.
I think I’m known on the metro as “girl who giggles insanely at her phone.”
I’m actually very attracted to strapon play, with the right partner, of course.
Oh, I’ve got a partner for you!
Disclaimer: No ponies were harmed in the making of this blog post. Furthermore, I have no problem with threesomes or strap-on play. Just with controlling my tendency to be a smart ass to anyone trying to take me at face value.
That pony will take you at face value.
(I have no idea what that means.)